Thursday, February 27, 2014

Chemo- and all is well!

Today was another BIG day. Not just big but HUGE!!!!!!

We showed up to the center at 8:00 for my appointment. I was completely ready for my long day. I knew what basically was in store for the day. And I felt as ready as I could possibly be (which, lets be honest, was not super ready! Haha). So the nurse pulled me back and gets my vitals and tells me oh P.s. we are not doing chemo today. BAH!!!!!!! I got so so So grouchy, and then the nurse tried to talk to me for like 10 minutes later. I was a little bit of a jerk. I would not look at her and I just wanted her to leave. Don't worry, I saw the errors in my ways and apologized later in the day.

The PA comes in next to talk about what is going to happen in my Bone Marrow Biopsy. He started talking and went right into the risks of chemotherapy like we were going to do it today. So we asked and he said "to my knowledge that is what we are doing but let me go check with Dr. Dickson.". He comes back and tells me that we are doing it ALL IN ONE DAY! just as I thought, and just as planned. HOORAY! He told me there was never a patient to be excited to do chemo before. Haha. I was just prepared, my parents were going to be with me, and if they would have put it off for a week then my parental units would be in California at the happiest place in the world.

My mom came back with me to do the Bone Marrow Biopsy. They accessed my newly inserted port, drugged me up, and laid me down on the table. I have read blogs where when they inserted the port and did the biopsy of the bone marrow that the patient/blogger cannot remember a thing about the procedure. I was not that lucky. I can remember every sound and every silly thought that came into my head. But I was not in pain (I love modern medicine).

After that was finished we all headed back to the chemo room. I sat down and got comfy in my little cubicle. I got to cuddle in a breast cancer awareness blanket, so that was fun. I ate some pretzels and sun chips. Drank a coke. Ate some butterscotch candies as the chemo drugs where being pushed. It really was a good day. I have handled it like a champ.. like a sometimes crying champ.

When we got home my phone was blowing up with love (have I mentioned how incredibly blessed I am?) and my aunt made a surprise visit bearing gifts! She brought some paper plates and plastic utensils so we don't have to do dishes, some blue Gatorade (H2O) Gatorade, a Disney music player for my little princess, and some superman pjs. It had a sweet card and was signed by all of my dads sweet sisters (who I love dearly!).

I also received a package from my big sister from far away land of sparks. It was so sweet. In it was a water bottle that has a wide mouth that fits ice cubes and ice chips! It came really handy when chemo started. I love it. It also had the cutest cards I have ever seen AND gel pens. I freaking love GEL PENS! I think it may be something with my generation, something that I Don't quite understand but I still love love LOVE THEM!

Today was a good day. I am slightly nauseous and a little sleepy but I have drugs for that.

Heavenly Father has blessed me tremendously. I keep learning of new things that have been blessings. For example both my ENT and Oncologist have a forever waiting list and I just jumped right in. Jude has been a champ at taking a bottle! Those are some ways that I have been blessed. I know that if I keep my faith in Him and in my Savior I will be alright. I will be blessed immensely. The Gospel is great. I am so thankful for the knowledge I have. I love my Savior and my Heavenly Father.

P.s. my parents are fantastic. If you don't know them you are sorely missing out!

Until I know more!

Emily!

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

And So There Was A Port.

Today I went and got my port "installed". So now I am officially a CYBORG.

I woke up at 8:00am and got my house cleaned. I could not eat so I was doing about anything I could do to take my mind off the port. Because frankly I was a little scarred about the procedure. My parents arrived at 11:00am. They brought me some frozen easy meals that won't take but a minute to heat up and eat. At 11:30 Brandon came home and soon after my mother in law came to babysit my tiny children.

We arrive at the hospital and check in. Waited about for 5 minutes in the waiting room when my nurse Kristine comes out to get me. Brandon and I follow her back to the pre op/post op room. She hooks me up to an IV (the most hurty IV I have EVER had in all of my 25 years!) and goes over the procedure once more with me. After she was done we waited around for the Dr. who is doing the surgery. Took about an hour. My mom and Brandon switched places and after my mom arrived the Dr. arrived. He had me sign some consent forms and then they wheeled me into the procedure room..

Things went well. The medicine did its job. And now I have a port. And it is not comfy. I am in a little bit of pain. But all is great! I know that this is the best option to administer the chemo tomorrow and throughout my treatments.

Now TOMORROW CHEMOTHERAPY

Until I know more!

Emily!!

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Tomorrow a Port.

Today is essentially the last day of normalcy before my life flips upside down. I have had many phone calls today from the cancer institution telling me a whole lot of stuff. So my FIRST call from them was say that my insurance came through and I can start chemotherapy on Thursday.

The SECOND call I had today was to tell me what stage I am in. Dr. Dickson said "I have just been giddy since I saw the PET scan results! Its 2b!". HOORAY! This is great news. But now we also have to do a BONE MARROW NEEDLE DRAW to see if the cancer is in the bone marrow. If it is not then we will move on like planned. If it is we will have to change my course of treatment plan.

The THIRD phone call I received was asking me if I have yet had a port put in or a picc line placed. Which I have not. I have been WAITING to find out what to do.. Then she said she would work on getting me in to get a port placed and she would call me back.

Number FOUR phone call came in and she told me that she set me up at noon tomorrow to get my port placed. BAH! I am so nervous. But it will be pretty cool to be a little bit like a CYBORG!!

The FIFTH call came from a man who worked at the hospital and explained the whole procedure to me and told me that I could not eat anything solid after 6 am and no drinks after 11 am. That's going to be rough because I LOVE to eat. Its one of my most favorite pastimes.

Anyways. I feel as if I have been hit by a BUS of EMOTION and CANCER is the DRIVER.

The good thing about this all is that I am finally on the road to getting better. We will start with the port tomorrow and the chemo Thursday. The ball will be rolling. This girl will get better.

I have the most support that anyone could ever ask/hope for! I am one lucky girl!

Until I know more!

Emily!

Dun, Dun, Dun...

So I got the call. My insurance came through. I have to be at the cancer institute at 8:45 am on Thursday the 27th for the "Chemo teach". That will last about an hour. Then I will spend "all day" there at the institute for the actual treatment. Hopefully they give me more answers about the stage then as well. They had to push it back because it took so long for it to be approved that Wednesday became booked full. So Thursday it is. And Thursday it will be!

That's all for now, folks!

Until I know more,

Emily!

Monday, February 24, 2014

Stages and Symptoms.



STAGES
There are in a sense 8 stages. There are stages One through Four. And in those four stages each has an A or a B along with it. A means with out symptoms. B means with symptoms. So for example stage 1A means the lymphoma is only in one concentrated area and there are no outwardly apparent symptoms. Stage 1B means the lymphoma is only in one concentrated area and there are outwardly apparent symptoms.

Image source: Photobucket
So Dr. Dickson believes I am either in Stage 2B (because I have them in my neck and chest) or 3B (that's why we did the PET scan to determine if I have any under my diaphragm) because I have been having very strong symptoms.

SO LETS TALK SYMPTOMS
First let me tell you about night sweats (or in my case I get them in the day as well). Most nights, multiple times a night, I wake up in a sweat. I am not talking about a light glisten as I like to call it. I'm talking full blown, look like I just hopped out of a swimming pool fully clothed kind of sweat.
I'm not kidding you. I wake up with my hair soaked, my sheets wet, and I am feeling as if some one turned a hot shower on above our bed. It is so silly. And OBNOXIOUS! Fevers are also a symptom. I didn't notice fevers very often but I guess if you took my temp in the middle of a night sweat I probably have one!

Another one is Itching. Constant Itching. Want to rip my skin off because it itches so bad. Scratching so much I accidentally make myself bleed. Itching. YUCK. It stinks. I also get random rashes in random places that last 5-7 days and then disappear.

The next ones are Fatigue and Weakness. For heaven sake. Why would I realize that I was super tired and it wasn't normal? Oh yeah, I WOULDN'T. Give me a break, I have an almost 7 month old and an almost 3 year old. Of course I am tired. Fatigued is one that I noticed but though nothing of. By about 3 in the afternoon my body tells me it is done. It tells me this by body aches, can't lift things, feel like I might die if I don't self medicate soon (ibuprofen or Tylenol). Great right?

So I am definitely in Group B. Still waiting for the answer to see what stage I am in. 2 or 3. Hopefully find out more soon.


P.S. my insurance has not approved Chemo yet so I don't know for sure when or where that will happen. But you know, its just cancer, no big deal.

Until I know more!
Emily!

Sunday, February 23, 2014

So I have Hodgkin's Lymphoma... Warning way long.

After the holiday season wound to an end and all of our family members returned safely to their homes, I noticed two pea sized nodules at the base of my neck, on the right side, directly above my collar bone. I thought nothing of it and if I did it was something like I probably have a sinus infection. Well a few weeks went by and I found a third one on the left side that was about the size of a nickel. I didn't think this was normal so I asked my dear sweet MOTHER what she thought of them. She told me to immediately go to the doctor. I ended up going to women's clinic because I have never been to a regular doctor. They put me on antibiotics for ten days and then if they went away great if not call and make an appointment. Well the didn't go away. They didn't even shrink. So I went back in on Friday January 31 and they ran a blood test to check my thyroid, and sent me that day to get an ultra sound on my neck.

30 minutes of goobing up my neck and ultra-sounding it to the max. The women's clinic I went to set me up an appointment with a ENT (ears, nose, throat Dr.) for the next Wednesday the 5th. Dr. Hinckley is amazing. He said there was 7ish enlarged lymph nodes in my neck and ordered me a CT scan for Friday the 7th and surgery for the 14th for a biopsy. So I went to my CT scan and they made sure that I was not pregnant and just did a neck and soft tissue of my chest scan with contrast. Dr. Hinckley promised me that when he found out what was going on he would let me know. He also stated that he was an eternal optimist and would not believe it was cancer until they hit him on the head and say "ITS CANCER!".

He did not break his promise. Fast forward to February 9, 2014. After a lovely evening spent at my big brothers house sharing a fantastic diner made by his sweet wife and enjoying a fantastic conversation, we packed up the kids and hopped into the car. I checked my phone and noticed I had a missed call from a phone number that was not saved in my phone. I call my voice mail and get the number and the facts to call back. Dr. Hinckley answers in a heart-beat. He said "I just looked over the ct-scan and it is Lymphoma." My heart dropped. He was true to his word. He said that we would talk more about it on the 12th for the ct follow up appointment. That night was a lot of SADNESS and LOVE shared. I called my mom as Brandon called his. After that my siblings were sharing their CONCERNS and LOVE for me. My big brother Jacob came to my house and helped my dear sweet husband to give me a blessing. Can I just say how wonderful the gospel is? How amazing the priesthood is? How great it is to have a worthy priesthood holder in my home? Its FANTASTIC! THE LORD IS GREAT. After my blessing a calm fell over me. I knew the comforter was there. I know what he has gone through for me. He knows my pain, fears, and concerns. He knows how my body feels and the how it is going to feel during my treatments. I knew, in that moment, that I was aware that this was going to happen to me in my life time in the preexistence. That makes me so much stronger to know that I KNEW what I was getting myself into. Oh, how I LOVE my SAVIOR. And the PLAN OF SALVATION.
The day before I chopped all my hair off. Mackenzie and Me!
I chopped it all off after I found out it WAS cancer. I wanted to make the decision to loose my hair. I don't want cancer to take anything away from who I am. So I gave it up willingly. Jude and Mama!

So then at the appointment on the 12th he said that there were 30ish lymph nodes in my neck and chest. One is the size of a soft ball compressing my left lung. He went over what they would do in surgery and how long it would take to heal up. He also set us up with my oncologist (also kinda so funny that I have an oncologist!). My surgery date approached. Which was Valentines day. My mother and my husband came with me while my dear sweet mother-in-law watched my silly little ones. They pulled me back to pre-op very fast and had me put on this paper gown that blew hot air in it so I stayed warm. As the time for my surgery slowly but surely came up on us I started to get nervous. It was my very first surgery after all. Then they gave me drugs and then I felt happy. My mom kissed my cheek and told me everything will be fine. My husband kissed me and then.....

I wake up. And I am GROUCHY. And I WANT A COKE. Mike, my nurse, kinda ignored that I was grouchy. He said that I was just tired. But I know that I was grouchy and mean. Ha ha ha. The rest was kind of a blur. I know they gave me a coke, and made me eat some apple sauce so I could take a pain pill. Then it was really blurry until I got home. Anyways they took out 3 lymph nodes to biopsy. I was told that I would hear what kind of lymphoma I had Tuesday or Wednesday. Tuesday came and went and no news. I did not sleep that night. The morning of the 19th, at 9:00 in the morning I receive a call. Dr. Hinckley was happy. He said "Emily, it is what we have been hoping for!" I said "HODGKIN'S?" he said yes and we had a mini happy party over the phone.

I had a dentist appointment that morning because apparently chemo and radiation can mess up your tissue in your mouth hard core. So I got prescribed a certain kind of mouth wash and toothpaste that will help to prevent/treat that. That after noon I had my oncology appointment to meet with my oncologist and converse about my options. My oncologists name is DR. Dickson. He is wonderful. I already love him. He answered all my questions and all of my parents questions (they both came with me) and my husbands questions. He asked me if I was having symptoms for long. Well I am always tired but have an almost 3 year old and a 7 month old baby. I am dry and itchy but it is winter. I have night sweats but I didn't think anything of them. He told me that I get such bad night sweats because of that softball sized lymph node that is pressing down on my lung. It was pretty neat. Not The Lung thing, but the whole appointment. He scheduled me a PET scan for the next day and an echo on Friday the 21st, and hopefully start chemo on the 26th.

I had a follow up appointment with my ENT on the 20th right before my PET scan just to remove the stitches out of my neck. Then I ran to my PET SCAN. They pulled me back almost right after I signed in. Brandon was with me and came back to the closet size room that they set me up in. When they started to put in the IV he decided it was time to leave and went back to work because he could not be with my while I did this test that took 1 1/2 hours! So he leaves. A few minutes later a girl comes hauling in a large IRON lunch box type deal. It is locked, so she pulls out a key and unlocks it (RIGHT NOW I AM NOT FEELING THE SAFEST). Inside the IRON lunch box was an IRON cylinder that kind of looks like a Campbell's soup can. They hook it up to my IV and push all the RADIOACTIVE isotopes inside my body. OH, and then they tell me that I cannot be next to children or babies for 10 hours because I could stunt their growth with all my radioactivity that is going on inside me (I wasn't feeling safe before, now I feel as if I might die.) The sit me in an easy chair a pull it up to a reclining position and tell me not to move for 1 whole hour. Nothing repetitive. Try to hold as still as possible. If you move the isotopes (which are sugars) will all move to that area and make it glow on the scan. The whole point of the scan is to see what stage I am in. Dr. Dickson says he thinks I am either in stage 2b or 3b but we had to do this scan to find out, to be ABSOLUTELY sure.

An hour or so later they made me pee and then put me into an MR-I machine. I don't know if you have ever been in one, but they are not for those who do not like tight and confined places. Oh, did I mention that I am very much claustrophobic? Oh yeah. I am . BUT I did not have a problem with the machine at ALL. There was a breeze on my face so I just shut my eyes and thought about anything and everything that would keep my mind off of small dark places. But then I had to spend the whole rest of the day by myself, until 11:00 at night that is. Because I was radioactive. What's the point of being radioactive if you don't even get powers like spider man? HONESTLY!

Yesterday I had an Echo. Basically just an ultra sound of my heart. I don't think I told you that up until the 14th I was breastfeeding Jude. So everywhere I went and almost every test I did I lactated EVERYWHERE? I did this here as well. Haha. Kinda embarrassing but also so funny.

So Dr. Dickson should have all these tests results tomorrow and hopefully I will hear back as to what stage I am, because that will determine what treatments to do.

Until I know more!

Emily!

Introduction of sorts..

I guess I should start with an introduction of sorts. My name is Emily Hansen and I am 25 years old. I am 5'7 and in my BMI for weight. I have always considered myself a healthy person. In high school I participated in cross country and track and I have always been very active. I love to sing and for the last 2 1/2 years have been a member in the local women's choir in our town. I am a wife to an amazing husband who is hilarious and always keeps me on my toes. We have been married for 4 1/2 years.
Isn't he so handsome? I think so! I am a mother of two incredible children. I became a Mom on April 10, 2011 to our beautiful baby girl Paisley Dawn Hansen.
She is my Princess. And possibly the most beautiful, smart, and silly girl ever to exist. Jude Brandon Hansen was born July 26, 2013. He has brought nothing but joy, happiness, screams and poop into our lives.
Jude is a mamas boy and is always putting a smile on my face with his bright blue eyes and silly kisses. How I got the most adorable babies in the World beats me! These people are my life. I have been extremely blessed by my Heavenly Father. This I know. Finding out that I have cancer does not change my outlook on life in a negative way at all. If anything it has changed me for the better. What a silly thing to say. Cancer for the better? Ha. But seriously. I enjoy my days with my children, and all the goofy things that we do together. In my next post I WILL tell you all about how this journey of my CANCER CHRONICLES started and how/why it is bringing me happiness alongside all the scared, frustrated, and discouraging feeling. Thanks for stopping by! Emily!